September 3, 2006
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A pressing Problem
Last night on AIM a learned Xanga colleague and I discussed questions of personal hygiene, especialy on behaviour in the shower. He gave his opinions convincingly in flowery language, but later a second friend more bluntly expressed different opinions.
I was very torn and confused between the two, but later remembered that Shakespear had once attempted to solve a similar question, so I opened a copy of his ‘Hamlet,’ which gave me the guidance that I reproduce below >>>>>>>>
To Pee Or Not To Pee
To pee, or not to pee – that is the question
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to step
Out of the shower all soapy and wet
Or say ‘fuck this, no one’s watching’
And peeing on the floor, save precious time
That could be spent in viewing porn
This question – and a whole bunch more –
That people bug me with, I wish I could
Ignore. To pee, to smile, to gush and escape
The dumb opinions of others. To pee: but there’s a catch
For in that quick relief what else may come?
When I have thus let my sloth reign
What farts may press from my relaxed ass
And in their unchecked haste blast out
Turds long and brown and hideous
That I must snatch up in dismay
And juggling them in panic to the shitter
Risk slipping on the tiles, and by
So unwanted a fall, crush them to my
New-washed self, whilst through the door
My sister cries ‘aren’t you done yet?’
But that this thought has seized my mind
I would risk peeing in the shower
An untried pleasure, whose simple delight
No one I know will speak of
But rather do they glare, and loud insist
That only pigs pee in the shower
Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all
And thus the natural love of ease
Is screwed by the pale sneer of thought
And I do find I’ve lost the soap
And lost also in useless thought
Have peed unthinking in the shower
Comments (53)
HAHA! That’s great!
Yeah!!! that children’s song is rather disturbing. “Ashes, ashes, ALL FALL DOWN!” I didn’t notice that anything was wrong until I heard it. It’s horrible!
Random comment.
Wow. That’s about really all there is to say to that, haha. But it is pretty amusing.
♥
lol, you rock.
and thank you for the link
Is that so? I can’t even say that I’d heard of it before I saw it on the metros page. What’s it like?
Haha, yep, out of everyone there, you’re the only one I commented. Exciting, right?
♥
LOL. anyway… Yeah he’s a pathetic excuse for a human being
Btw, I’d rather if you called me Miguel, Migue, or something like that, Nulls is a really old nickname and I seriously prefer just my name these days..
Migue
To pee or not to pee
Wow, thats something different
am i the flowery friend or the blunt friend
?
I see, I see. It seems nice, and it does seem like a big difference from where I live. Almost complete opposites… not polar opposites, just different enough that you could notice. The rain would be extremely different, since we’ve been in what the local news weather people call “a severe drought” for two years. So I’m not used to the rain, I’m just used to lots of heat from the humidity.
♥
Clever
what’s a man from leeds doing in toronto?
I haven’t a bloody clue WHY i got an X-rating.
Tried to get into into another guy’s site yesterday and HIS site was X-rated!!!
so i had to get him by email!!!
bob
ryc: You know what’s funny? Your previous post on Prem Rawat was what caused me to write that post in the first place. I read it, then researched him. Then I did a little thinking. I’m a knowledge monkey like that. He brought me to that conclusion. I also reread the Tao Te Ching, that always helps me when I loose my way. =)
Haldo. Another random comment (you seem to have quite a few.)
The poem was definately… well, the porn part was a bit off and guyish, but what the hell do I expect from a guy!? Anyway, instead of making a complete idiot of myself I’ll just let you know that I like you site and shut up…
that is the best fucking thing you wrote so far. poor Migue is madder than me at the asshole. i always get hamlet and macbeth mixed up.
bahahaha that’s so great!
becky told me to read your site by the way
and i personally dont pee in the shower but sometimes i brush my teeth in the shower. is that considered bad hygeine? haha
Thanks for the really cool comment on my xanga – that helped me a lot. I haven’t been posting cos I was worried about school starting again, but I want to try & get back to my xanga friends soon. Kev
*wave*
so why don’t you come back to “engerland,” then?
MANY MANY years ago i had friends in leeds
one in particular was VERY sexy and he spent his first summer after leaving school with me. he wanted to be a journalist and had got sponsorship from his local paper for a course starting in the september, so came with me for a few weeks just for work experience. he was already experienced in the bed activities!!
bob
yes. i am.
and i suppose you have xanga tracker. haha.
who are you, how did you find me? BTW, that poem is really funny!
Well done, and thanks for the compliment, Im glad you like my writing, I certainly like yours.
Wil would be proud!!! Really good, Every one knows that peeing on your feet in the shower cures athlete’s foot
. Hey thanks for stopping by and for the comment.
Peace,
Mike
yea i dont use my toothbrush for that lol
hi…
what??!?! o.O
How…intresting…
>_>
lol
Things are beginning to improve. I am surprised you haven’t forgotten about me yet. Once I have everything worked out I will return to this blog and start over.
How are you doing?
LOL that would have been awesome. hahahaha
And I wish he came back to whine too, he’s a fun homo<phobe?;>.
And I wish he came back to whine too, he’s a fun homo.
(stupid typo.)
grrr… xanga doesn’t like me
lol no problem…
n u know, .. i hate when i wake up in the morning n i have to pee, but i jus DONT want to get up…
it really sucks
but i end up geting up ne way to go pee,…
well.. most the time.. sometimes i jus try to go back to sleep but then when i wake up again i REALLY have to go…
lol not that u care..
*shrugs*
Oh sad face. Sounds rather sucky. I’m not on aim much in general because of my homemade computer. I can only run one messenger at a time or it runs really slow.
what do u mean lilly isnt real what ??? lol computer generated wtf
cmb on ashskyblue1 not on natens he will kik my ass
I never peed in the shower.
I used to take a piss in the public swimming pools though.
here is whats happening right now in jason’s head.
he’s sitting there. probably he should be working. but he’s refreshing the page every few seconds. watching. waiting. he isn’t going to post shit until the comments hit a certain number. if they don’t, he will pull out his hair.
am i right? of course. i’m never wrong
I used to piss in the church picnic kool-aid….but yeah. I stopped that.
hmmm? is Lily a Software Generated Illusion? Dark baby – I juz dunno that one….
if he is…. then the programmer is a seriously disturbed genius….
I just like to think of Lily as Sex on Stick…. that get’s me thru the day….
… i dont know if i have heard of anyone considering that question as much asyou have in that poem. thats very interesting indeed….
I think we all do.
he he he- you are truly priceless!
R U Sure you’re a Str8 Man? You can’t be…. you’re far too witty……!
he he – ummm did I just make a heterosist remark?
now that’s not very P.C. of me is it?
I should be more tolerant…! Sorry [embarrased cheesy grin]
Oh yeah, he’ll have a perverted theory, I know.
thanks :-p
Dying Fetus is love.
[: Thanks
Ya, the world is such a stupid violent place.
Its discusting, i think.
your welcome for thanking me for subscribing. I think that made sense
well, i’ve left my site to decay. xanga pissed me off. so i haven’t written anything. i just use it to read other peoples sites and leave comments now for the most part. if i ever have a major epiphany, or xanga stops being a cunt, i will return.
Ave Satanas!
You are too funny…..great mind.
I apoligize for my less than hasty reply.
The poem is “Heart, We Will Forget Him”, by Dickinson. I don’t usually ‘dig’ her style, but I’m actually singing a verson of that poem in choir.
Weeeell, I don’t have a penis, but if I did, I probably wouldn’t say penis either. I have a vagina, but I never, ever say vagina. I hate that word, I also hate all the other slang terms for it, so I usually just refer to the enitre area as my “girl parts”, if I refer to them at all. But I never call my breasts “girl parts”, because I think they’re wonderful and that they shouldn’t have to share a label with the before referred to parts..
Your comment was pretty random, but it made me laugh, so I thought I’d offer my thoughts on the subject back to you.
Have a great day.
Maggie
I heard bad things about publishing through Amazon, so I went through iUniverse.
They’re really top notch.
It’s true though. I loved Steve! I was even him for halloween a couple of years ago. Now I bet people are going to be him for halloween when It was TOTALLY my idea first! Oh well…
Madonna
Main article: Madonna on Letterman
In March 1994, pop star Madonna appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman. The unofficial ‘Queen of Pop’, who is known for controversy, infamously swore thirteen times throughout the interview and refused to leave at the end. Letterman, who asked her questions on various topics including her nose ring, music and love life was soon branded a ‘sick fuck‘, after he suggested Madonna kiss a member of the audience. Madonna went on to ask if Letterman was wearing a ‘rug’, whether he wanted to smell a pair of underwear she brought on the show, or whether he thought the microphone was sexually big. In between this, Madonna often swore and referred to sexual themes including her vagina, saying: ‘Did you know it’s good to pee in the shower?’ Eventually, she swore so much that the producers went to commercials and showed comedic monologues of Madonna. At the end of the interview, when Madonna refused to leave, Letterman cut to a break, and when they returned, Madonna was gone. Letterman has since stated, in USA Today: ‘I’m not pleased with the way I handled it. I should have said, “You say that word one more time and you’re gone. That’s it. Adiós.” And I didn’t.’ Madonna appeared days later on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, predictably mellow. Her return to Letterman was in 2000, while promoting her album Music.