February 20, 2010
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Assertion
“You chose to end the nonresponsive program, Internet Explorer.”
Yes, “I.”
It was indeed I, I and no other, who chose to end the snivelling, non-responsive program, “Internet Explorer,” I, and no other. I, and I precisely, took the decision, and I needed neither help nor advice to do so, nor do I need the feeble comments of others, those of lesser will, who posess insufficiency of grit to do as I have done.
They would have gazed in dismay at the screen, wringing their hands in self pity and moaning of their dismay. “Oh, the non-responsive program Internet Explorer…. What shall we do? How can we bear it?” I have heard them, I have seen them, and I spit on them in contempt.
But I…. I ended that non-responsive program that impudently calls itself ”Internet Explorer,” and I did so without mercy, with no neo-libertarian falterings or evasions, and for so doing I feel no shame.
And so shall I end all non-responsive programs, and I shall not be moved to heed their whimpering pleas to notify Microsoft, and should their pleading turn to threats, veiled or open, still I shall not flinch from my chosen path, for I fear not microsoft, nor its toad-like minions, nor the whole unholy host of its non-responsive programs.
Later he climbed the dingy, little used stairway, and applying his illicit key to the locked door, passed unseen onto the dark night of the roof. Overhead the faint stars peered from the black heavens, spending their last light to pierce the dismal murk of the city’s thick vapours.
Leaning on the parapet of this high tower, he gazed out in brooding distaste on the endless stone forest of the slabbed city, at each dull monolith succeeded by yet another of gothic angularity, windows blank in sleep, or lighted by futile life. Below, the insect traffic crawled in the measured streets, crawled and circled endlessly in the tainted radiance, and their blurred grumbling rose to his ears. Pursing his lips, he spat into the canyon’s depths.
My first novel …. ….and my second 
Comments (10)
IE sucks all round, but I won’t turn this into a firefox is better discussion, oh no I won’t.
And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love Mozillllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……
*blinks at the web page–courtesy of Mozilla Firefox!*You made me feel bad for IE for a second.I’ve been working on a song lately, in which the narrator is expressing remorse for killing a man who was paid to kill him.(The hit man had children and family–while the narrator does not have much to live for.) Yet you feel the need to justify ending an instance of IE? That only implies your deeper remorse. Soon you will turn around and start an anti-abortion, pro-execution movement. You’ll even stand up for the right to execute of programs no one wants to start. -Alexander the Zounderkite
@FoliageDecay - I can answer you best by repeating the words of the Great Ocean of Wisdom: “you do not understand my deeper porpoises.”
@disillusionisreal - Mozilla? Mozilla? Is this a cheese you refer to? This is surely the name of a cheese. In the midst of my passion, of my assertion of the Rights of Man, you speak to me about cheese!
@logicalemu - Firefox? What is this firefox? This is a wimpy name, this is a name only good enough for a bicycle, no, not even that, for a pair of roller skates. This is worse than that other woman with her Mozilla cheese nonsense.
Hhahahaa….I have asserted myself against the evil IE too many years ago to remember…..even now when it tries in vain to come between me and my Mozilla, I scoff as I close the non-responsive program…..again, and again, and again…..
@darkoozeripple - A fucking awesome bicycle, I’ll have you know. Almost as awesome as my thunderhorse!
At least I know that I’m not the only one who murmurs words of contempt at a computer screen and it’s various components……
@SimplyCe - I do a mix of contempt and rage, with a sneering flavour added. It’s difficult, because the one tends to get in the way of the other, but it’s worth it.