April 29, 2007
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Zorn. (An excerpt from the incomplete novel.)
The place is a pizza shop in Roknor Bay, a popular holiday resort on the Mediterranean coast. The time is June 2035, and a group of teenagers are on holiday there.
Fucking Twat, thought Kevin, biting into his pizza savagely. We were supposed to be together, and he fucks off and leaves me.
Kevin had not had a good night. He’d been here a week, and not a sniff of a girl. Last night he and Michael had sworn not to drink too much, and that way they’d pick up a couple of girls while everyone else were falling down drunk. So he’d just had a couple, but Michael had gone and got pissed up as usual, and then got talking to some girl and vanished with her. And where was he this morning? Not in his room, and hadn’t shown up by 12 o clock, and so he, Kevin, was sitting at mid day eating pizza on his own.
He’d banged on the door, but Michael never showed his face, so unless he’d got so pissed he was still out cold, he’d never come back. Did that red-haired slut have a room of her own? If it was her he’d left with, which wasn’t certain, ‘cause he hadn’t seen them leave.
Kevin chewed on his pizza uneasily, and pocked with a finger at the mushrooms, brooding on another possibility. That little slut with the purple eye liner vanished about the same time, that Zorn bitch with the smart mouth who’d been sniffing around Michael a couple of days ago. What if they’d left together? No. Michael hadn’t said anything, and in any case he liked things straight, none of these butch girls and fairy boys. So he’d been on top of that red-haired piece all night, and was probably on top of her now, and he’s said sod you and left me on my tod. Twat. Of course I’d do the same, but so what? What’ll I do now on my own?
Kevin bit into the pizza and looked across the room glumly. An older guy a table or two away looked up at the same moment, and their glances met. Kevin wagged his pizza in vague greeting, then looked moodily out of the window at the passing people. He’d remembered him from Silver’s last night, and smelt the scent of a fellow sufferer, for the dude didn’t look too happy either.
Iril didn’t remember Kevin though. Lump, he thought, some straight dummy stuffing his face. Hit the gym would be a good idea.
The door swung open and a trio of girls came blasting in, noisy and giggling behind dark sunglasses, wet-patched Bermudas pulled hastily on over wet bikini bottoms, bare feet sandy from the beach from which they’d fled in hunger. “Iril,” cried their leader, and crashed down into the seat opposite his.
Iril winced at the spray of salt water drops and spread his hands protectively over his plate. He liked Evren – she was always cheerful – but she couldn’t seem to get it through her head that he was gay.
Lucky sod, thought Kevin, watching slyly through narrowed eyes whilst pretending to indifference, that’s a nice looking chick, and she’s too young for you. More my age. Lay off and send her over here mister. But the chick was all over the dude, standing and leaning over the table, smiling into his face with her big knockers nearly coming out of her top, almost dumping them on his plate. Mangoes! Rub them up against his nose, why don’t you, thought Kevin enviously. And the dude was talking to her so easily, not stuck for words. I wish I could do that, thought Kevin. Now the girl was twisting round the table, half going to the service counter with her feet and half hanging in there with her elbows on the table, still talking to buddy, and now it was her bum wagging at him, Kevin, and she must have made a joke, ‘cause the dude was laughing.
To Kevin it seemed – again – that there was a realer world than his, with realer people in it who were comfortable and knew the rules. Some people were shiny, somehow, and belonged, and people talked to them as if they were important. He felt greasy, and little. Then the girl was on her feet again and scurrying away to join her friends, who were….
Comments (18)
I’m curious where you’re going with this.
RYC: No, I’ve known this guy for a while. I’m one of the few people who can freely criticize him all I like without fear of repercussion.
I like it. But this sort of thing would get you in trouble at a local school district. Honest to God, they turned a kid in for writing “disturbing prose” in his creative writing class. I’m disturbed at the goddamn teachers. BTW, he was a straight A student and never got into trouble before.
RYC: i should do a review for you, too. I’ve gotta remind myself. I’ve been busy too. One crazy thing after the other. Just got my computer back from my son who basically highjacked it all weekend to write a paper on political science.
Lynn
Interesting. The only thing that sort of broke the illusion of the envirnment was suddenly seeing the world ‘realer’. I couldn’t help but think that didn’t sound right.
Oh snap and damn, damn, damn… I just wrote this brilliantly long comment and now it is gone. Frustrating… and I doubt I will be able to re-create it, so I will just start over.
I like the new story… not to sound like an editor or anything, but I am guessing that Kevin was poking at the pizza, unless pocking is a British word I don’t know. I really like this and I suppose it is appropriate that you left us hanging… I love the old serial type novels. When Stephen King released the Green Mile in serial form I thought it was genius.
RYC: I completely understand the stack of books waiting to be read. As an English teacher, I always have a super stack of books I keep on my bedstand. If I travel I am never without a book. When I read Running With Scissors, I was also reading Thoreau’s Walden… which if you have read it, then you know it takes great patience and well honestly if you are reading it probably you have to. Someone gave me a copy or RWS for Christmas and I began reading one page of it and then one page of Thoreau… sort of like a reward. Finally, I said F%$# it, I am reading Running with Scissors… I finished it that night.
So, there is only one book in front of yours. I am reading All Quiet on the Western Front with my sophomores… have to read it, although it is not bad, but I am looking forward to summer and your book. In fact I am very excited to read something just for pleasure. I am hoping for poolside, sun and Wake of the Raven…. alas, four more weeks.
Thanks for dropping by. I love the new profile pic. I like this look better, you look like a writer.
Hugs, Tricia
BTW, still haven’t finished Thoreau… ugh.
Tricia
Ahhhhh, I love the word subtlety… could it be a pun also, you know like Kevin had a pocked face that looked like a pizza? Okay, now I am writing your book, just slap me. I figured it might be a British thing.
I have other words I love too, I should do a post about words I love…. well actually once I did, right after the Scripps Spelling Bee (that is big enough in the US to make ESPN).
Take Care Graham,
Tricia
Of course Kevin is probably supposed to be the hot one… maybe he was thinking of the F#$%ing twat and thinking that his face was pocked like a pepperoni pizza???
Tricia
Realer is a good word… okay, really I am going away now. I am just having so much fun with this story.
You know it is all in fun, right, but feel free to use any of my tired and witless banter.
Tricia
Thank you.
RYC: Good to know…
RYC: Honest there was a huge arguement over a high school kid’s creative writing essay here in the suburbs of Chicago. It was the most outrageous over-reaction to school shootings. Really, the whole thing could make you laugh if they weren’t actually serious about it.
Lynn
i should give a review.
i hella should. is kevin gay? i wonder what he was poking the pizza with.
haha i hella dont wanna post baby pics.
me and my sister were so fugly the nurses felt sorry for my mom
Saw your footprints…. I am reading… the Raven just crashed, don’t tell me anything. I realize this is not very far, but remember we both have that stack of books that need to be read, and I am probably reading 5- 6 pages a night. As soon as school is out I will devour and let you know. So far I am intrigued.
Have a lovely weekend, Graham.
Hugs, Tricia
Thats bloody brilliant. I really like the way you switch between the characters so effortlessly. At least, it comes off that way. Excellent writing
RYC: Haha sort of. It’s kind of empowering to make yourself that vulnerable. Yup, oxymoron. Anyway, the background is from DeviantArt. I wish I could take credit for it; I’m but a thief.
I just have to comment that I really liked your comment on jonny quest ‘s Xanga (“nerd-outs”, etc.) lol!
thanks for returnning the comment.
RYC:
Not only am I old enough to be a mother, but I know some grandmothers my age. My son is 21. I’ve just been lucky genetically.
Good for you for going to Book Expo. It’s too close, timewise, to our Printers Row Book Fair in Chicago, so I didn’t even consider it. They used to have those book expos in Chicago. Curse the luck on that.
Have fun in the Big Apple.
Lynn